"Did you see that tooth? She had so much bridge work, every time I kissed her I had to pay a toll."

Sure it stinks. But why isn't it out on DVD?

Quality has nothing to do with a movie's presence on DVD. Lots of super-crappy movies are available — Dante's Peak, for instance. This particular crappy movie, Rolling Vengeance, is something I'm dying to see. But can't.

My senior year in college, this thing showed up at the Greeley, Colorado, video store where I worked. I thought it looked like a real hoot — stupid even for an 80s action movie — and I planned to take it home some night. Well, these dudes came and stole it (along with a VCR and a copy of Faces Of Death) before I ever got a chance to see it. The bastards! Why couldn't they have ripped off The Princess Bride or The Lost Boys instead? We had dozens of those.

So now it's more than 20 years later and I still haven't seen this thing. Hope you dirtbags enjoyed it! A quick search shows that it's nowhere on DVD.

But the clip below (sorry about the cussin') makes it look like it'll be worth the decades-long wait.

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #6

In observance of Mother's Day, here's a Mother with his mother.

Another '55 Chevy

It don't get no better than this 81 minutes right here.

One of my all-time favorite movies — which my best friend James and I used to watch almost daily via a faded 16mm 'Scope print — Pit And The Pendulum. Enjoy.

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #5

Someplace you shoulda been.

So Long Pontiac.

The news about GM and Pontiac got me thinking about The Rockford Files and all those Firebird Esprit's (74-78 models, I think) James Garner drove.

Rocky's pickup was cool, too. And I'd love to have Rockford's trailer sitting in my backyard.

By the way, 29 Cove Road is not a real address. The trailer sat alongside the Sandcastle Restaurant, now the Paradise Cove Cafe. It's at 28128 Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. When I eventually tote the family out to CA, you can bet we'll eat there.

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #4

The New Rock
by Frank Zappa in Life
June 28, 1968

"...I remember going to see Blackboard Jungle. When the titles flashed up there on the screen Bill Haley and his Comets started blurching "One Two Three O'Clock, Four O'Clock Rock...." It was the loudest sound kids had ever heard at that time. I remember being inspired with awe. In cruddy little teen-age rooms across America, kids had been huddling around old radios and cheap record players listening to the "dirty music" of their life style. ("Go in your room if you wanna listen to that crap... and turn the volume all the way down.") But in the theatre, watching Blackboard Jungle, they couldn't tell you to turn it down. I didn't care if Bill Haley was white or sincere... he was playing the Teen-Age National Anthem and it was so LOUD I was jumping up and down. Blackboard Jungle, not even considering the story line (which had the old people winning in the end) represented a strange sort of "endorsement" of the teen-age cause: "They have made a movie about us, therefore, we exist..."

SURFINK!

Dig this, boys and girls.

You can make the scene just like Jody McCrea (in Beach Blanket Bingo) or these lovelies you see here, circa 1964, with your very own SURFINK! t-shirt.

This fine apparel was once available from the Ed "Big Daddy" Roth dumb junk empire. Now you go here for a reproduction. But don't do it till I get mine ordered!

Now, where do you go to get one of those bitchin' RF hats?

Another console stereo.

A Zenith this time. I love how the louvers can be closed when you're not playing (The) Ventures In Space.

In the past, the future was really cool.

Now that future has turned into the present, and it's kind of a drag. What happened?

Where's the kitchen that cooks stuff automatically? The car that navigates itself? The business trips to the moon?

Instead we got microwave burritos, the Prius and American Idol. I feel cheated.

Jody McCrea, Part Two. Or Revenge Of The Deadhead.

L to R: Jody McCrea, Dick Dale, John Ashley, Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello.

Putting together yesterday's post about Jody McCrea's passing, I came across so many great images, I got stoked and had to stick a couple more on here.

Click on the insert card and it gets like the most.

See ya, Deadhead!

Jody McCrea, 1934 - 2009

Just found out that Jody McCrea passed away. The son of Joel McCrea and Frances Dee, he's known as Bonehead, Lunkhead and most often Deadhead in the Beach Party movies. He's still pretty much the same character each time. My favorite (and indeed one of my all-time favorite films) is the masterpiece Bikini Beach.

The story goes that McCrea was the only one of the cast who could actually surf. He left Hollywood in the early Seventies to become a rancher in New Mexico.

In these photos, note the "RF" Rat Fink hat and Surf Fink! t-shirt.

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #3

Here's a little fact-y thing that signifies that there's a tiny micro-speck of hope for the record-buying American: We're Only In It For The Money actually hit #30 on the Billboard charts back in 1968.

Heard the Lumpy Money thing yet?

The beauty of the console stereo.

The Clairtone Empress 601 Stereo Console.

You know, some of these things don't sound too good. And they take up a lot of space. But to me, they're works of art. This one, with its simple lines, is a knockout.


Or Clairtone's Project G.


One of these days, when I get a house with more than 17 square feet...

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #3

Neon Park's cover to The Mothers' mighty Weasels Ripped My Flesh.


And in case you were wondering, where Zappa got the title came from.

Seems like a good day for a '55 Gasser. Or two. Or five.

There's this folder on my detachable hard drive, and it's nothing but pictures of 1955 Chevy Gassers.

I find 'em, I drag 'em. Here's a few outta there.





My apologies to the uncredited photographers.

Man, I wanna see this!

It might stink. But it's gotta be great.

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #2

The Mothers Of Invention at The Whiskey A Go-Go (on the fabulous Sunset Strip) in 1966. Note the copy of Freak Out! on the table.

What could they be twisting and frug-ing to? "Help, I'm A Rock?"

As you ponder such questions, dig this interview with Frank from 1968.

More Geeking Out About DVDs.

Recently, to announce the new Warner Archive program, the folks in charge of Warner Home Video's back catalog did a web chat deal with the Home Theater Forum. You can read the whole thing here. But the stuff I thought was interesting is as follows:

There will be more Joel McCrea movies coming out, including Colorado Territory (one of the best Westerns ever). Wichita is part of the first wave of titles. Mine arrived yesterday. Good movie, nice DVD. Also, Trail Street with Randolph Scott is on its way.

My all-time favorite film, Where Eagles Dare (1969), should receive a Blu-Ray release next year. I swore I wouldn't make the move to Blu-Ray (or a big fat TV) till that film came out, so I guess I'll be officially wanting to upgrade before too long.

Ed Roth.

Who says it takes a big car to be cool?

Fridays With Frank (Zappa) #1

I've been on a Frank Zappa binge lately, focused mainly around the Verve/Mothers years.

He is certainly missed. So I thought I'd dedicate every Friday for a while to Mr. Zappa.

Since I've recently figured out how to stick videos on this thing, here's a clip from one of the last episodes of The Monkees. Frank appears in this pre-credits segment only. The "You're a popular musician, I'm dirty, gross and ugly" line cracks me up every time.

The tune you hear, as Frank hits the car with a sledgehammer, is "Mother People."

Yes, There Is A Devil. And He's In The Movie Business. (Or, The Three Stooges Of The Apocalypse.)

MGM gets its 'Stooges'
Penn, Carrey, Del Toro part of studio's plan

By Michael Fleming, from Variety


MGM and the Farrelly brothers are closing in on their cast for "The Three Stooges."

Studio has set Sean Penn to play Larry, and negotiations are underway with Jim Carrey to play Curly, with the actor already making plans to gain 40 pounds to approximate the physical dimensions of Jerome "Curly" Howard.

The studio is zeroing in on Benicio Del Toro to play Moe.

The film is not a biopic, but rather a comedy built around the antics of the three characters that Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Howard played in the Columbia Pictures shorts.

The quest by the Peter and Bobby Farrelly to harness the project spans more than a decade and three studios. They first tried at Columbia, again at Warner Bros., and finally at MGM, where Worldwide Motion Picture Group chairman Mary Parent championed the cause and bought the WB-owned scripts and made a deal with Stooges rights holders C3.

Production will begin in early fall for a release sometime in 2010. The Farrellys, who wrote the script, are producing with their Conundrum partner Bradley Thomas, and Charlie Wessler.

C3 Entertainment principals Earl and Robert Benjamin will be executive producers.

Project will get underway after Penn completes the Asger Leth-directed Universal/Imagine Entertainment drama "Cartel." He hasn't done a comedy since the 1989 laffer "We're No Angels."

The Farrellys have long had their eyes on Del Toro to play Moe. Del Toro, who's coming off "Che," showed comic chops in the Guy Ritchie-directed "Snatch."

The surprise is the emergence of Carrey to play Curly. Howard established the character as a seminal physical comedian, from the first time he appeared in the first Stooges short in 1934 until he suffered a stroke on the set in 1946.

Coop, I'm sorry about sullying your illustration. But it seemed so devilish and Hollywood-y.

The Tormentos: "Dragstrip Night"

The Tormentos are a surf band from Argentina. They've taken the baton from the short-lived US surf resurgence of the Nineties and run with it. More power to 'em.

This video is boss. Especially the footage lifted from Bikini Beach and Endless Summer. It seems to really capture the whole vibe of modern-day surf/hot rod music.

My daughter asked what a Tormento is. "Is it like a tomato?"

Now where do we find their CDs here in the States?

Geek Alert! The Warner Archive.

My wife just brought this to my attention. Warner Brothers has started a made-to-order DVD program, The Warner Archive, where all sorts of cool stuff can be yours — stuff the general populace has little or no interest in.

The list of titles (the initial listing is 150 films) is pretty impressive. Darby's Rangers. Westbound with Randolph Scott, directed by Budd Boetticher. Doc Savage. Wichita with Joel McCrea directed by Jacques Tourneur. And more.

All are in their proper aspect ratio. Wichita, for instance, has its CinemaScope all 16x9'd.

People, this is a good thing.

And for a limited time, the discount code XB392 will get you 25% off. Basic shipping's free these days, too.

Every Spring, all the Bugs come out.

Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention.

But what kind of necessity lead to this?

Cleans & Thrills You!

I don't know why this strikes me as funny, or as brilliant, but I love the fact that some of the greatest Rock N Roll albums of all time were sold through comic books!

Imagine scooping a couple bucks out of your piggy bank, handing it your mom and asking her to write a check to United Mutations for something called Freak Out! by Frank Zappa and The Mothers.

It's stuff like this that makes me proud to be a Capitalist Swine.

Fired up my Marantz last night.

Now I'm in a vintage stereo mood.

Happy Birthday, Kid!

One Adam-12, One Adam-12, Happy Birthday in progress...

Crap, I missed it (by 53 years)!

Thought For The Day: John Milius.

"There's no shame in the world, and without shame, you cannot have honor. Our world is ruled by consensus now. There is no sense of honor."

After.

Today, Jennifer had her head shaved (by her sister Amy) at a local St. Baldrick's event to raise money for children's cancer research.

We both lost our moms to cancer. Fact is, Jennifer's mom was buried on this day nine years ago. This was something Jennifer felt she needed to do, and she's been growing her hair for the last two years in preparation. Her hair will go to make wigs for children who've lost their hair for some medical reason.

The last I saw, today's event had taken in over $105,000, but the final tally won't come for a day or two. About $1,800 of that is what Jennifer raised, courtesy of our friends, co-workers and family. We know a lot of good people.

I've never been more proud of her. And she's never looked more pretty.

Gentlemen, start your trimmers!

Wedding Anniversary #11-B.

Or maybe it counts as our 22nd. Either way, we had so much fun getting married on February 23, 1998, that we did it again on March 1. The place: the front seat of our rental car — a blue Mercury Sable — in the Little White Chapel's Tunnel Of Vows, a drive-thru wedding chapel.